A reflection on ego, art, and karmic entanglements — exposing false connections and revealing the strength of walking away with dignity.
Disclosure
This is a deeply personal reflection — part memoir, part spiritual reckoning. It unfnews slowly, with raw detail and layered truth. The intention of this piece is not only to recount events, but to dissect and reflect on the dynamics and meaning behind them.
For those who prefer brevity, a condensed version of this reflection is available on Medium.
The Art of Showmanship and the Matrix of Friendship
It is a stark reality that in art, prestige and display often overshadow the true substance of creation. Connection and ego’s pride — not authenticity — dominate the scene. I once attended and volunteered at an art show, expecting real friendship in reciprocation. Instead, that connection unraveled through the relentless pursuit of a former friend of my friend — a pursuit without boundaries, without propriety.
Prestige Over Substance in the Art World
I became an eye-witness; a soul seeing through the rose-tinted glasses of art, perceiving the true motivation of Orleana and Lethe: their desire to be seen, to be recognized. Their hunger for group resonance and social approval.
Transactional Nature of Matrix Friendships
Lethe and Orleana represented a kind of matrix friendship — shiny, full of potential, yet fundamentally transactional and conditional. Orleana spoke of art as opportunity, but in truth she was merely an event organizer. She indiscriminately welcomed artists and wannabes alike, not from vision but from ambition. She sought credibility through association, padding her résumé as an art director, fabricating importance, selling spirituality as spectacle while quietly forging an orbit of social approval around herself and Lethe.
Ego, Validation, and the Performance of Connection
Together, they were not partners-in-crime, but friends-in-crime. This is the very nature of their performance. Socializing as a performative art of connection. One might even suspect intimacy between them before Orleana secured her boyfriend. I remember her warning me, “I can lend you my underwear, just tell me if Lethe is bothering you.” In front of her, Lethe acted with propriety, but his eyes betrayed his desire to pursue me — wobbling between the murky boundaries of “friend” or something more. He saw himself as the worldly art director from the Netherlands, ready to “save” me from my “directionless life.”
Archetypes and Earthly Souls
That very entanglement — by design, or by God’s deliberation — is not meant to show that these people are demons or monsters. They are archetypes, personas, spirits moving in oblivion. Souls in slumber. Some may never awaken, perhaps resting in an eternity of hibernation. God sees it. I bore witness with my own eyes.
Souls in Slumber: The Unawakened Archetype
Yet the Earth continues to host such souls. It is not my role to justify their actions, nor to feed resentment. For feuding itself is another entanglement — a tether pulling me back into the karmic orbit. To feud is to deny change, to resist the necessity of evolving beyond the perceived reality of the self.
Karmic Entanglements and Mirrors
It is not uncommon to encounter karmic entanglements — mirrors and triggers that unsettle the soul. This experience, too, must be seen through that lens. Not to spiritualize harm, but to recognize how awareness and integration turn pain into growth.
Karmic connections carry unresolved energetic patterns. They are not random. They arrive to confront you with the parts of yourself you have ignored, denied, or are finally ready to grow beyond. They trigger. They awaken. They accelerate you — not into comfort, but into transformation.
Hidden Lessons in False Connections
Every person mirrors something back: your wounds, your shadows, your unclaimed light. Through these reflections, you begin to integrate what was fragmented. And through integration, you come closer to wholeness.
I write this not to demonize Orleana and Lethe, nor to hnew them in contempt, but to reveal how matrix friendships unravel. To remind that humanity is in need of reform. To offer a cautionary tale: that as light-bearers, we must see through ego’s performance, endure the sequence of karmic events, and live through them — not as victims, but as witnesses evolving beyond.
A Night That Unravelled Me
I came to the party as an artist — open, eager, ready to connect. I volunteered the entire day: paintings, lights, the stage. I gave freely, believing I was part of something collective and meaningful. What I didn’t know was that this night would unravel not only my trust in others, but my trust in myself.
From Trust to Violation: When Boundaries Are Crossed
At a hostel pub crawl, Lethe approached me with Orleana. They spoke of energy, art, possibility. I saw opportunity, trust, resonance. I didn’t yet see the hidden dynamics — the imbalance, the hunger, the karmic pull.
That night, Lethe crossed boundaries I had clearly set. Consent blurred, ignored. Affection twisted into aggression. What was meant to be intimacy became violation. The next morning, I tried to exit gracefully, speaking of wounds, of codependency, of boundaries. He nodded, but his eyes revealed something else: he wasn’t listening. He wasn’t surrendering control.
The Masks of Charity
Before the art show, in Orleana’s absence, Lethe tnew me of his kindness — buying food for a homeless man, donating clothing, letting him shower at Orleana’s flat. He shared these stories with pride. It was clear: this was not humility, but theatre. Acts retnew for validation, to cast himself as noble in Orleana’s eyes, to maintain his mask of spiritual depth.
Friendship as Utility Disguised as Intimacy
Yet what I saw was something different: a conventional man, leaning on Orleana to navigate Bulgaria. A lonely soul bound to her company, while she in turn leveraged his presence — his connections, his title — to advance her own role as organizer. A friendship of utility disguised as intimacy.
Return to the Scene: Showmanship Over Substance
At the art show, I arrived with grace. I avoided drama, focused on the work. But Lethe could not tolerate my distance. He interrupted my private conversation with a friend, insisting I join him and Orleana. I turned him away politely, protecting my space.
Rejected, he sought control through pettiness — pressing a leftover slice of pizza into my hand in front of others, reducing me to scraps. Our exchanges turned into performances of dominance, his words circling power, not connection.
The Final Unveiling
When the night ended, I asked Orleana — the one who had first drawn me into this orbit — if I could stay with her. She refused softly, while accommodating others. She welcomed Lethe. She opened her doors to acquaintances. Just not me.
Empathy without protection is not care. Boundaries drawn only against me were not neutrality. They were betrayal cloaked in diplomacy.
I left. Quietly. Alone again. But this time, departure was not rejection. It was revelation.
Leaving the Orbit
That night revealed the pattern I had outgrown:
- Giving too much.
- Being used under the guise of “community.”
- Staying quiet to preserve peace.
- Dimming myself to belong.
These were not soul bonds. They were karmic loops. And I broke mine.
Karmic Loops of False Friendship
Lethe and Orleana mirrored the structure of hollow friendship:
“You’re welcome as long as you play along.”
“You’re safe as long as you don’t disrupt the image.”
“Your truth is too loud, your pain inconvenient.”
Their showmanship was a cacophony of sterility, a hollow performance of connection. They were not cultivating art, but cementing status. Not creating meaning, but fabricating importance. Spirituality a performance, art a commodity, friendship a transaction.
The Sacred No
And so I walked away.
Walking away was not weakness. It was reclamation. It was a sacred No.
No to orbiting others’ need for power.
No to serving as eye-candy, a dangling human being, bait for validation.
No to worshipping prestige at the cost of my soul.
Walking Away with Respect
I reclaimed my dignity, my sovereignty, my gravity.
And in that silence, I heard the whisper:
You don’t have to beg for space anymore.
You don’t have to shrink to be safe.
You are allowed to walk away from anything that forgets your worth.
To Anyone Reading This
To Anyone Who Has Walked Away From False Connections
If you’ve ever been in spaces that asked you to give but never receive…
If you’ve been tnew you are “too sensitive” for naming harm…
If you’ve had to walk away just to feel safe…
You Are Not Alone in This Awakening
You are not alone.
This is not weakness. This is awakening.
Breaking away from karmic bonds means you’ve absorbed the lesson.
You are no longer trapped in their orbit.
You are reclaiming your soul.
You are choosing yourself.
Your inner work proves your worth.
And that is powerful.
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